More than three years ago some personal life struggles sent me into a spiritual whirlwind that produced a negative affect on my music flow, and creative workflow in general. When I say negative, I mean dark – extremely dark. Dark as the desert on a moonless night. A place where the intangible meets its star creators, but also birthed its original rite of passage. It is this rite of passage that one cannot describe with the limiting medium of written language. It is a journey through initiation. A solaris or rising sun that must always set through its natural cyclical life, and give way to darkness in order to rise again.
As the giver of life went down in my existential microcosm, I found the very essence of my being staring hard at a life in need of reorder. Chaos lay before me and all of my tools and skill sets remained fractured. It grew cold and dark. A man must always be prepared to take action. At the very least, as much action as can be taken in the confines of our crudely structured society led by entities concerned largely with control. So be it! I will not comply as best as I can. A man must be prepared to stand up to the filth, scams, programming, and group-think. Was this a programming meltdown?…A rejection built up over half of a lifetime? Perhaps. This is no excuse for giving in or laying down, for this is exactly how the slave masters wish humanity to be. To bow down before them. To bring us to our knees. I wasn’t about to fall, but I did find myself wading through a sticky substance. It slowed my progress until I slipped into the void…
Black as black can be was all I could see. Occasionally there would be photon. I would reach for it, but couldn’t put my fingers on it. It seemed to always be just beyond the scope of my perspective. It was intangible. It was the dream-creative. Lost was I, in a sea of madness, sadness, and despair. When the dream dies, so does the man. A spiritual death that precedes the physical one…Whatever the “physical” is. The illusion is only known to me as my mind perceives it. All that is the universe is nothing more than a perception. So was I perceiving the night as black as black can be…
SOL-A-RIS (Rising Sun)
Life is at least partly a manifestation of our individual perception or visualization. Much of this happens through consciousness expansion, which can only be achieved by way of struggle. A man must dive deep down into the great void in order to experience a shift in perspective massive enough to initiate a new beginning, which life is full of. This new beginning can be likened to a sunrise, bringer of light, giver of new life. However one wishes to think of it, but there is no denying the direct correlation between this part of our individual journeys and of those outside the human realm that exist in the universe or maybe beyond…such as the life cycle of a star.
Reaching the sunrise is possible through this manifestation. If I imagine a new record it will happen, but only after much work and in steps. So to work through the night at these small steps one will eventually reach it. Sometimes this “manifestation” will take a long period to achieve. Often it will be through many cycles of darkness & light with perspective shifts along the way. These shifts will continue to reorder the original visualization and the imagination will oscillate to alter the work accordingly.
It has been five years since my last trio record, but my imagination has never stopped visualizing a new one. With a great black stone before me and walks through the mud, an opportunity for renewed creativity presents itself…And so I must follow it, however intangible it may be…